The spotlight effect: how to get rid of it and stop focusing on yourself

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Constantly doubting your words and behavior is exhausting. The following methods can help you cope with toxic thoughts and change your focus.

Realize that you are not the "star of the stage."
Don't let this scare you, but rather liberate you. When you realize that you are not the center of other people's opinions, external social pressure will decrease. Remember: if you are focused on yourself, others are also mostly focused on themselves, so they don't think much about you.

See how people really react to you
The next time you accidentally spill juice on yourself, pay attention to the behavior of the people around you. Listen to their words, watch their gestures. Some will try to help you, some will smile mischievously, and some will pretend nothing happened. People will react in different ways—the way their culture and experiences dictate, not the way you think they will react.

A week later, ask anyone in the room if they remember what happened. You finland phone number data can be sure that most of them will say no.

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Ask for feedback
Instead of reading people's minds, ask others what they really think about you or your work. If there is a problem, ask for advice on how to solve it.

You will realize that people are not actually that critical of you, and you will be able to let go of the idea that they are judging or rejecting you.

Use the “So what?” method.
Whenever you find yourself thinking negatively about your actions or behavior, ask yourself, “So what?” For example, if you’re worried about making a mistake during a presentation, ask yourself, “So what if that happens?”

This will help you calm down and make sure that the mistake will not affect your career or personal life.